Joi Riden's Journal

(Latest 20 entries) (Calendar) (Friends) (User info)
Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)

Saturday, July 23, 2005

4:13PM - need to sleep

just got home from the hospital. I have been sleeping all day and still feel like I need to sleep. These pain killers are making me feel weird. I have decided I dont like morphine. I am going to go back to sleep now.

Current mood: sleepy

(2 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

8:26PM - beach

went to the beach today. It was a blast. went with tim, scot, and jeremy(we are still friends). Chad was suposed to come with us but he got pulled over for speeding and got in trouble for not having a license. They put my friend tim in handcuffs. poor tim. I havnt heard from Chad sense so I dont know what is going on with him. just updating a little.

Current mood: amused

Current music: coldplay

(3 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

1:41PM - sad day

I am single now. Jeremy and I are over. Tear :..( I guess I have to move on. This sucks majorly. sigh. Sad day.

Current mood: sad

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, July 11, 2005

2:22PM

grrr I have to pack today. blah blah blah. My mom is coming to visit me this thursday. This is going to be interesting considering she is staying in the house with me and my dad and leslie. We are going to go and do things and try to get our relationship somewhat back on track. I miss having my mother. I mean leslie is awesome and I love her verry much but no matter what I dont have that mother daughter bond with her that i do with my real mother. We are going to send in my statement for what happened in CT when she comes. She wanted to be there for that. well that is all for today.

Current mood: aggravated

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Friday, July 8, 2005

3:07PM - slightly saddened

I saw will walk by my house yesterday. He smiled and waved and I knew he was just being polite. It made a deep sadness ache inside me. I will miss him dearly. No matter what happened between us and what went on my time with those guys was one of the happiest times I have had. I felt like I belonged somewhere for a change instead of always being the outcast. Well screwed that up. I shall number it deepest regret number one. Will always was there to listen to me talk and will miss that. I will miss him. I will miss all of them. Especially Russ. That I can never forgive myself for. man Joi what was wrong with you. Did you build a wall so high that you built it around guilt as well. well I feel the guilt now and all of Will, ben, Russ, Mark, and who ever should be satisfied to know that they have had there revenge and it was my own doing. The guilt and saddness I feel will be with me forever. That aching feeling when I was will just made me want to cry. Well I will recover and I will have a good life and I will do good in it. First major mistake= first major regret.

Current mood: sad

Current music: AC DC

(comment on this)

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

2:06PM - crazy

I am in a weird mood. I dont know what it is. I got sick yesterday. Fourth of july which means I missed all the pretty fireworks which sucks ultimately. Yet I didn't miss all sound it made while I was tring to sleep. grrr. oh well. I finally got asleep around two but woke up again at six. I wish I could just sleep for a day to catch up on all my sleep. Isnt that what summer is all about sleeping? Well my step mother says she needs to have a talk with me, which probably means she wants to know why I havnt started writing my statement yet. I think I want to wait until my mom gets here. But I guess I should start it. I just really want to get my stuff back from them before any of this gets out because I mean what if they get really pissed and burn all my shit. That would suck like you wouldn't believe. Well life throws you challenges just hopefully it wont throw my stuff at me in ashes.

Current mood: crazy

(comment on this)

Sunday, July 3, 2005

7:07PM - Scared

Hey went swimming the other day with Sterling and mike. Had fun. Then went to get icecream with scot and jeremy. Finally got to go out with him. Jeeze it is so hard to actually do anything with that boy. Finally decided to press charges against that guy in CT. It is going to be verry hard for me. I really dont know. I know I am going to have to do it but I can't imagine myself on one of those stands and some guy yelling at me. I dont know if I can take that especially with Him in the room too. That would scare me like crazy. Please peoples just wish me luck or pray or what ever you do becuase I need it. I have been going through hell lately but i know that i can get through this. I have the support of my family now and my friends or some of them have stuck by me and I apreasiate them so much. I have had a rough time but now I am prepared to do the best now.

Current mood: scared

Current music: Pink floyd

(comment on this)

Thursday, June 30, 2005

2:37PM - I'm a hippie

The Personality Defect Test
by saint_gasoline
Hippie
You are 0% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 0% Arrogant.
You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, and humility, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and love to all! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie, who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you too love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. And you listen to psychadelic rock and smoke a whole lot of pot. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.

*

Current mood: Hippie

Current music: the darkness

(comment on this)

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Sunday, June 19, 2005

8:17PM - DAMN

I know that I havnt been as happy as I usually am lately. And I know that a lot of people have ditched me becuase they find me depressing to be around. And that kind of drives me deeper into my depression. I thought what were my really good friends turned out to just forget me. I know that they got sick of me. And I do realize that I screwed up a few times but have you ever felt like you just wanted to be loved so bad that you do things that you wouldn't normally do and when you try to fix it it just gets worse. I really just dont know what to do anymore. I used to be the one who gave out all the anwsers and knew what would help people and what wouldnt every one came to me for advice and I gave it willingly to try to help the people that I cared for and thought cared for me too. I stuck by those people when they were going through really bad times and I would still be there for them if they hadnt cast me out when my time of need grew to it's peek. I am not afraid to say it. I do not enjoy living anymore. I used to be so full of life and joy. But now I feel dead and numb I miss my mother so much it is hard to bare. I scrwed things up with Ben and I can tell he wants nothing to do with me and neither does Will. Danny turned out to be a complete asshole. Mark never really was there for me so it isn't like I have lost him. He I must say was honest with me the whole way through and I respect him for it. My innocent actions turned into the devils own and I couldnt stop it for I needed to feel loved needed to feel like i belonged when the truth is I have never felt like I have belonged and I have never felt like I have been loved. I have never felt it. And I wanted it so bad. I just cant stop crying. please someone help me.

Current mood: dead

(comment on this)

Thursday, June 16, 2005

4:34PM - Bush Gardens

I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS!!!!!! I just got back from Bush Gardens. I had a blast. I love rollercoasters man. I went on everyone they had and it was a blast. I loved it. I really hope I will be able to go back one day. I have totally become obsessed about the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. OMG he is so hot. Well I am really tierd.

Current mood: tired

Current music: My Chemical Romance

(comment on this)

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

6:03PM - Virgina

I am still in Virgina. It is quite boring actually and I can't wait until I get to Washington D.C. We leave this friday. Tomorrow I am going to go to Bush Gardens which should be somewhat exciting. My ass still hurts from falling off that swing. Go ahead laugh it up it was pretty funny. Truth be told I really wish I could come home I miss it. And if I havnt told any one yet I might be going to palmetto. My step mom doesnt want me to go there but I have an appointment with them when I get back. I think that she is going to try to get me out of it. I really hope so. I dont want to be in a place like that I really dont think that it will help me. I know I have a lot of problems but I dont need to be sent away to deal with them. I can deal with them right were I am. I have a verry important desition I have to make and I am not sure how I am going to make it. I told my parents what happened to me in CT and they want to press charges but they said it is up to me. I really don't know if I can go through that right now. Truth be told I am not okay. That guy has a daughter and a wife that I love verry much If I were to put him in prison I dont think that they would ever talk to me again and it would cause them a lot of pain. I just dont know what to do. I nearly had a nervous break down yesterday. I wish life could just be simple but yet again I dont know what I would do if it were. I would probably be board out of my mind.

Current mood: confused

Current music: My Chemical Romance (I'm not ok)

(comment on this)

Sunday, June 12, 2005

9:10PM - Virgina

Hola!!! I am in Virgina. Having fun besides the fact that I have just gotten over a fever and have an ear infection in both ears and I had the unfortunate experence to sit on a swing and have it break. That really boosted my self esteem and helped out my back, neck, and ass. Besides all that it has been fun. They don't let you sleep into noon here and it sucks. I have been really tired all day. It is weird being back here but this used to be my home and I still feel some comfort lurking in my mind being here. I am going to be going to Washington D.C. soon. That shall be fun. Now that seems like home. Man I have many homes. I miss D.C. So it shall be fun to go back there. I Miss all my friends back in South Carolina. Sniff sniff. But I will send everyone post cards. Kind of like I did when I went to California(lol). I will see everyone when I get back. funzy funzy, as Mel would say. SMILES : )

Current mood: bored

Current music: Sound track to Queen of the Damned

(comment on this)

Monday, June 6, 2005

11:35AM - A Bunch of Quizes

Guys Like That You're Fun
You're the type of girl guys brag about knowing
That's because you're cool, funny, and laid back
You're smart enough to know how to be one of the guys
But flirty enough to know how to make them all want you

http://www.yournewromance.com/guyslikequiz.html

You are a Great Girlfriend
When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

http://www.yournewromance.com/goodgirlfriendquiz

Your Aura is Yellow
Your Personality: Life's too short not to have fun. Your bright energy brings joy and laughter to those around you.

You in Love: A total flirt, you need a lot of freedom to play. But you'll be loyal to that one man who makes you feel safe.

Your Career: You love variety in a job, and you probably won't stick with one career. You would make a great professor, writer, or actress.

http://www.yournewromance.com/whatcolorisyourauraquiz

Men See You As Playful
Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmate
You know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guys
You enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualities
Men are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that!

http://www.yournewromance.com/howdomenseeyouquiz

Current mood: amused

(comment on this)

11:16AM - Happy happy happy

I Had my party this past saturday. Wow I didn't think so many people would show up. It was fun but I got really fun after a few people left and there was just about ten people there. We played games from Whose line is it anyways. I had a blast. Ed and Mike kept putting mine and Jeremy's hands in awkward places, lol, in one of the games. It was funny. Afterwords me my sister Anna and her husband Brent and jeremy and scot all went downtown. I seem to like Jeremy more and more when I see him (which isn't that often) But I had a blast with him the other day. (And Scot too) Although scot didn't look to happy. I hope he had fun because I did. It wouldn't have been the same without him. Yesterday I went out with my sister before she left and we went to the mall and saw TIGERS!!!!(my favorite animal by the way) and I got to get my picture taken with one of them!! It was so cool. SO EVERYONE GO TO THE MALL AND SEE ALL THE CUTE AND CUDdLY ANIMALS. After that I went over to Ian's house and watched the punisher. That was a pretty good movie. Went home and Chad stopped by for awhile and read until I fell asleep when he left. But this morning Leslie woke me up at nine o'clock in the morning accusing me of sleeping my life away and she wont let me. She finally got me out of bed two hours later. And today is Monday. MY BIRTHDAY!!! One year older. And I still feel the same. Well going to go eat pancakes. Adios.

Current mood: happy

Current music: My Chemical Romance

(comment on this)

Monday, May 30, 2005

5:45PM - Info about me

[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[ ] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse. (sometimes)
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[x] I bake well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice. Even though I now know it was fake. (It was fake?)
[xxxxx] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I see a therapist.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[ ] I'm single.
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[x] Gotten lost in the city you live in.
[ ] Saw a shooting star.
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a fist fight.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] Made out in an elevator. rofl...long story!!!
[ ] Swore at your parents.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] Been in love.
[x] Been to a casino.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Broken a bone.
[x] Skipped school.
[x] Flashed someone.
[x] Saw a therapist.
[x] Played spin the bottle
[x] Gotten stitches.
[x] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex.
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car.
[ ] Been to Japan.
[ ] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[x] Gone on a blind date.
[x] Lied to a friend.
[x] Had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker.
[x] Been married.
[ ] Gotten a divorce.
[ ] Had children.
[x] Been on a plane
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten Sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[ ] Been skiing.
[ ] Met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] Been to a motorcross show.
[ ] Lost a child.
[ ] Gone to college.
[ ] Graduated from college.
[ ] Done hard drugs.
[x] Taken painkillers.
[x] Had someone cheat on you.
[x] Miss someone right now

Current mood: weird

Current music: System of the down

(comment on this)

Friday, May 27, 2005

1:12PM - Blah

I am talking to scot right now. HI SCOT!!!! Well I went over to Ian's last night. We watched those Thumb movies. They were frigin hillarious. I think I am going to go see madagascar with him today. At least I hope so I am board. God scot stop talking about people dieing and no i dont want to watch it!!!!sniff sniff you are going to make me cry. Well I am going to go get something to eat because I havnt eaten pretty much anything in two days. just some macaroni and cheese. So this girl is about to go pig out.

Current mood: hungry

Current music: the fizzies

(comment on this)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

1:32PM - OMG

OMG Ben Iovine asked me out. OMG. I dont know what that was. I thought he hated me. OMG. I am in a state of shock.

Current mood: shocked

(comment on this)

Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)